just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
