thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
