Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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