He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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