When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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