you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
