YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
