Please, let me fuck your mom
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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