im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
