I'm really into asian looking animals
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
