i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So many bounce houses so little time
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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