ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
