So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
