I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
