Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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