every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
home. puking in laundry basket.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
