That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
