It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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