He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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