I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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