erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
