i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
