i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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