Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
