I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
