I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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