"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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