You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
