i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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