How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
