Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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