Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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