It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
