pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
