His hands were made for my vagina.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
