she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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