This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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