Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
