i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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