I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
