then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
