So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
