Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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