I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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