How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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