I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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