Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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