how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
