It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
