Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there was a trapeze. enough said
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
