so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize