I think i peed on brittanys purse
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
