I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
