please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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