the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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