Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
