Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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