Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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