I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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