yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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