i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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