At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
