Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
